LET’S TALK LOVE LANGUAGES! 

We deal with people all day long. Our spouse or significant other, our family, our friends, coworkers, our YL members, etc. and guess what?! Relationships can be hard, and they require work. In relationships, people tend to show love to others in the way they would personally most like to receive it. For example, those of us who need a big bear hug when we are stressed might assume others would want the same. In reality, they may wish we had helped them cross something off their never-ending to-do list instead. So next time you aren’t getting through to someone even though you think you are doing all the right things, you just might not be speaking their love language. When you speak different love languages, it can be challenging to show up in the way that others need you.

Marriage Counselor Gary Chapman identified the five key ways that people express and experience love, which he calls “love languages.”  You can identify your love language or that of a loved one based on how love is expressed, frequent requests, and common complaints. There are five love languages: 

❤️ Acts of Service

❤️ Physical Touch

❤️ Quality Time

❤️ Receiving Gifts 

❤️ Words of Affirmation

My highest love language is physical touch and boy is that so true when it comes to loved ones and really good friends! (If you are not in my inner circle…hubby and kids… that is soooo NOT my love language though so please don’t come up and start rubbing up on me because it won’t be received well, LOL.) I am totally tied after that with Quality Time and Acts of Service. I have a lot on my plate so when I carve out time, I want that time to be cherished and valuable. I also want to be heard and I want you to show me you care. 

When we find out about ourselves, we also allow ourselves to grow. We understand our own needs better which helps us ask for what we need. When we find out about those we care about, it helps us to communicate that we care in a way they hear, understand, feel, and appreciate. Learn the love languages of your people, it will make a huge difference! Fortunately, several essential oils can help you support your loved ones in their love language.

ACTS OF SERVICE 

Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibility — vacuuming, going grocery shopping, sending thank-you notes — will satisfy this type of person. It speaks volumes! Want to know what will really make this person happy?! Ask them what would make life easier, make a schedule to get those things done, and then DO THEM.

The words (s)he most wants to hear: “Let me do that for you.” “What can I do for you?” “How can I help you?” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tells speakers of this language that their feelings don’t matter. When others serve you out of love (and not obligation), you feel truly valued and loved. 

If your loved one’s love language is Acts of Service: 

• Tackle something on their to do list that they’re willing to let you help with

•  Help around the house with chores or projects

•  If it’s something you know they need help with, but that help is beyond your scope of experience, surprise him/her by having something done for them (Example: I don’t mow lawns, but I know a great gardener I can pay $20 to send to your house to have it done for you before you get home from work.)

• What one act of service do they nag you about consistently?  Try proactively doing this one task.

Make sure you are helping and giving because you want to; however, don’t overextend yourself and feel resentful for doing the lion’s share of the giving. Acts of Service lovers don’t want people helping them out of obligation. They love a cheerful helper! A happy smile and a helping hand translates to, “You are the best and I love you!” 

Those whose love language is Acts of Service may appreciate these Young Living ideas/gifts (and even more if you use them to do an act of service for them):

• Make them a container of Thieves Soft Scrub (use the group search bar for recipe)

• Thieves Home Cleaning Kit

• Make them a bottle of Mirror Cleaner (1.5 c white vinegar, ½ c distilled water, 8 drops citrus EO – bergamot, lemon, lime, orange)

• Raindrop Technique Collection

Supporting the Acts of Service love language requires a lot of time, patience, and energy. So, adrenal and energy support are essential. The adrenal glands produce several hormones, including cortisol which is released to help the body manage stress. This stress response can throw the cortisol supply out of balance, either releasing too much (often called hyper adrenal conditions) or too little (often called adrenal fatigue). When we face ongoing stress, the adrenal glands produce too much cortisol, leading to symptoms including weight gain around the waist, poor sleep, fatigue, elevated blood sugars, menstrual irregularities, increased thirst, higher blood pressure and even more frequent infections. As the chronic stress continues, it depletes the adrenal glands. The adrenals were designed to deal with stress in small spurts rather than in periods of days or months (or even years). Chronic stress overworks the adrenal glands to the point of exhaustion and eventually they become too fatigued to meet the needs of the body. Symptoms of exhausted adrenals include fatigue, sugar or salt cravings, low blood sugar, a history of low blood pressure, skin rashes, allergies, poor sleep, depression and anxiety.

A great adrenal Support Blend is to mix 3 drops Clove, 3 drops Nutmeg, and 7 drops Rosemary to ¼ teaspoon of carrier oil and apply over the kidneys.

Some Young Living suggestions to help you support those whose love language is Acts of Service include:

• Oils: Stress Away, Grounding, Frankincense, Thyme, Rosemary, En-R-Gee, Clarity, Peppermint, EndoFlex, Orange, Motivation, Oola Friends, Oola Family

• Supplements: NingXia Red, Ningxia Nitro, Ningxia Zyng, CortiStop, MultiGreens, Longevity, Super B

• Other: Thieves Household Cleaner (you’ll need this for helping around the house), Thieves Spray (pushing those shopping carts around), and Thieves Hand Purifier (everything out in public when running errands)

physical touch

People who speak this love language thrive on any type of physical touch: hand holding, hugs, and pats on the back. These people establish emotional connection through physical connection. There is a need to open your heart in order to meet this need. Be intentional about finding ways to express your love using physical touch: giving hugs, touching their arm or hand during a conversation, offer to give a neck or back rub.

Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive. If this is your love language, appropriate and timely touches communicate warmth, safety, and love to you.

If your loved one’s love language is Physical Touch: 

• Cuddle while you’re watching TV

• Always hug hello and goodbye (kiss if it is an intimate relationship) 

• Gently rest your hand on them

• Put your arm around them

• Sit near each other 

If this is your friend’s top love language, but it is one of your lowest, this may be hard for you. When it comes to physical touch, I think there are three kinds of people: those who LOVE it, those who hate it, and those who don’t care one way or the other. Just remember, sitting near each other can be enough too. 

Those whose love language is Physical Touch may appreciate these Young Living ideas/gifts:

• Massage with several drops of their favorite YL essential oil and carrier oil or one of our Massage oil blends like Sensation or Relaxation Massage Oils

• Whip up a recipe or two from the Lucy Libido book 

• Raindrop Technique Collection

• Vitassage Essential Oil Dispensing Massager

Supporting the Physical Touch love language requires you to open your heart and allow vulnerability and/or to provide small and large intestine support to release any boundary or control issues around physical touch.

The heart integrates and balances the physical, emotional, and mental body, providing blood to every cell and every organ.  It also serves as a complex information processing center, influencing brain function, the nervous system, hormonal system and most of the body’s major organs. The heart is our body’s reset button, but a state of constant stress can fatigue the heart and compromise our ability to reset, leading to inflammation, infections, toxicity and heart disease.  By returning the heart to balance, we support the cardiovascular and circulatory system, regenerate the structure of the heart, and help to reset the homeostatic mechanism for the entire body. It is important to balance the heart to support, integrate, and reset all the systems of the body, including mental clarity, physical health, and emotional balance.  Choose oils like Rose, Melissa, Joy, Cypress, Bergamot, AromaLife, and Sacred Mountain that will promote feelings of openheartedness, expansiveness, and receptivity while mitigating loneliness, sadness, and grief.

The large intestine lets go of those things that no longer serve us. Physically, it lets go of waste after our upper digestive system has taken all the necessary nutrients out of the food we eat.  Emotionally, it allows us to let go of patterns of negative thinking, destructive emotions, and spiritual blockages that prevent us from being our best. Compromised large intestine energy presents as having a hard time moving on from difficult situations or holding onto emotions that harm or fail to serve us.  This holding on can manifest as an unwillingness to share emotions or be open with others – the phenomenon of “bottling up” emotions for years very often leads to chronic constipation. Choose oils that support the proper functioning of the large intestine such as DiGize, AromaEase, Fennel, Ginger, Basil, Peppermint, Rosemary, Petitgrain, and Spearmint.

The small intestine plays a critical role in the digestion process, absorbing and assimilating key nutrients while preventing harmful pathogens and toxins from entering the body. On an emotional level, the small intestine plays a similarly discerning role with emotions, helping to understand experiences and determine healthy and appropriate relationships and boundaries. It is also an area where we can hold deep childhood scars of rejection, abandonment, or abuse; negative thoughts fueled by feelings of lack of self- worth, low self‐esteem, loneliness, neglect and anxieties about survival and success. Choose oils that support the proper functioning of the small intestine such as DiGize, Lavender, Neroli, Oregano, and Tarragon.

Some Young Living suggestions to help you support those whose love language is Physical Touch include:

• Oils: Rose, Melissa, Joy, Cypress, Bergamot, AromaLife, Sacred Mountain, DiGize, AromaEase, Fennel, Ginger, Basil, Peppermint, Rosemary, Petitgrain, Spearmint, Lavender, Neroli, Oregano, Tarragon, Thieves

• Supplements: Ningxia Red, Life 9, Super B, Essentialzyme, Essentialzymes- 4, ComforTone, Digest + Cleanse, Detoxzyme, OmegaGize, Inner Defense

• Other: Vitassage Essential Oil Dispensing Massager, Thieves Hand Purifier

quality time

Giving your partner/friend your undivided attention is what matters most to them. That means no TV, no chores, no cell phone, just giving each other your full, undivided attention. Taking time every day to do this makes you feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed activities, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Whether it’s spending uninterrupted time talking with someone else or doing activities together, you deepen your connection with others through sharing time.

Other ideas:

• Have coffee or ice cream together

• After work, set aside 10 minutes to catch up — no phones allowed

• Plan a night out or a trip

• Always maintain eye contact when you’re having a conversation

• Ask for a list of activities they would enjoy doing with you. Make plans to do one of them per month over the next few months.

If you live far away from someone on your team, are in a long-distance relationship, or have a friend who lives far away, try and schedule a facetime/zoom session every so often. Seeing each other’s faces on the screen while hearing each other’s voices brings a togetherness. It will allow you to see their facial expressions, their body language, and you can show each other things in real time rather than through pictures. It’s the next best thing to being together. And when you are able to get together, remember to keep the distractions away! 

Those whose love language is Quality Time may appreciate these Young Living ideas/gifts:

• A diffuser blend to set the mood for your time together. For a visit with a friend, try Northern Lights Black Spruce and Orange together.

• Grab some Vitality oils to add to your drinks as you sit and sip while chatting away. Try Citrus Fresh in your water, Cinnamon or Thieves in your Coffee, Lemon in your tea, Peppermint in your hot chocolate, or Orange in your champagne or beer.

• Use Vitality oils to replace herbs and spices in your recipes while cooking a delicious meal or baking deserts together.

• Mineral Sunscreen Protection (SPF 10 or 50), Lavaderm After Sun Spray, and our Insect Repellant are great items to have on hand for a day of hiking outdoors, at the beach, or at an amusement or water park.

For people whose love language is Quality Time, their feelings get hurt when others are distracted, delayed, multi-task, or fail to make eye contact or really listen to them. For those who do not share this love language, those who are easily distracted, or those who have minds constantly on the hamster wheel, meeting the needs of these people can prove to be quite a challenge. To help stay more present, grounded, and in the moment use oils for focus, grounding, and staying in the present moment. Choose oils such as Present Time, Grounding, Sacred Frankincense, Frankincense, Clarity, Ylang Ylang, Reconnect, or mix together Cedarwood and Lavender (can also include Vetiver).

If personal boundaries are a challenge, the small intestine may need to be supported. The small intestine plays a critical role in the digestion process, absorbing and assimilating key nutrients while preventing harmful pathogens and toxins from entering the body. On an emotional level, the small intestine plays a similarly discerning role with emotions, helping to understand experiences and determine healthy and appropriate relationships and boundaries. It is also an area where we can hold deep childhood scars of rejection, abandonment, or abuse; negative thoughts fueled by feelings of lack of self-worth, low self‐esteem, loneliness, neglect and anxieties about survival and success. Choose oils that support the proper functioning of the small intestine such as DiGize, Lavender, Neroli, Oregano, and Tarragon.

Some Young Living suggestions to help you support those whose love language is Quality Time include:

• Oils: Present Time, Grounding, Sacred Frankincense, Frankincense, Clarity, Ylang Ylang, Reconnect, Cedarwood, Lavender, Vetiver, DiGize, Neroli, Oregano, Tarragon, Harmony, Gathering, Oola Fun

• Supplements: Ningxia Red, Mindwise, Life 9, Essentialzyme, Essentialzymes-4, ComforTone, Digest + Cleanse, Detoxzyme, OmegaGize

• Other: Minerals Sunscreen Protection

receiving gifts

Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; The receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. The trick here is picking the right gift that shows you understand this person and the effort you made to express love. Think about finding a gift that they have been asking for or would enjoy receiving, and plan for a special way of giving it, make it a surprise.  And remember, you don’t need to wait for a special occasion to give a gift or a card that shows your love.

Other ideas:

• Peruse their Pinterest page and purchase an item they’ve pinned

• After a trip, bring home a souvenir or trinket that made you think of them 

• Order their favorite childhood candy or snack 

• Keep a note in your phone of specific things they mention wanting or needing so you have a list of gift ideas for birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, or just because.

The perfect gift or gesture for the person whose love language is Receiving Gifts makes them feel known, cared for, and that they are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring them the gift. A missed birthday or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures. Gifts are heartfelt symbols to them of someone else’s love and affection. Think of a time when someone surprised you with THAT one gift. It doesn’t have to be something big and crazy or expensive. Just something that said, “This made me think of you.” That feeling is priceless and it’s one you hold with you. The thought behind that gift touched you deeply. This is what you strive for when meeting this love language.

Those whose love language is Receiving Gifts may appreciate these Young Living ideas/gifts:

• Diffuser necklace or bracelet made of their favorite stones or colors paired with their favorite Young Living essential oil. I love LavHá bracelets and malas.

• Make bath salts or sugar scrubs with their favorite essential oils.

• Thieves Home Cleaning Kit for those looking to reduce toxins in their homes

• Create a spa basket with Young Living personal care items such as Evening Peace Bath & Body Wash, Genesis Hand & Body Lotion, Sandalwood Moisture Cream, and Rose Ointment.

If Receiving Gifts is not your love language, but is the language of someone important to you, you must understand that feelings can be hurt by thoughtless or last-minute gifts. Meeting these needs requires you to open your heart and allow vulnerability. Oils that help you open your heart and connect to the generosity and spirit of thoughtful gift giving will help you support those whose cup is filled by receiving gifts.

The heart integrates and balances the physical, emotional, and mental body, providing blood to every cell and every organ.  It also serves as a complex information processing center, influencing brain function, the nervous system, hormonal system and most of the body’s major organs. The heart is our body’s reset button, but a state of constant stress can fatigue the heart and compromise our ability to reset, leading to inflammation, infections, toxicity and heart disease.  By returning the heart to balance, we support the cardiovascular and circulatory system, regenerate the structure of the heart, and help to reset the homeostatic mechanism for the entire body. It is important to balance the heart to support, integrate, and reset all the systems of the body, including mental clarity, physical health, and emotional balance. 

To support the heart, choose oils like Rose, Melissa, Joy, Cypress, Bergamot, AromaLife, and Sacred Mountain that will promote feelings of openheartedness, expansiveness, and receptivity while mitigating loneliness, sadness, and grief. Wonderful oils to help get you in the spirit of gift giving include Christmas Spirit and Gratitude.

Some Young Living suggestions to help you support those whose love language is Receiving Gifts include:

• Oils: Rose, Melissa, Joy, Cypress, Bergamot, AromaLife, Sacred Mountain, Christmas Spirit, Gratitude, Stress Away, Valor

• Supplements: Ningxia Red, OmegaGize, MindWise

• Other: Thieves Home Cleaning Kit

words of affirmation

For people with this love language, they need to hear, “I love you.” Even better is including the reasons behind the love; leave them a voice message, a written note, or talking to them directly with sincere words of kindness and affirmation. This is the way to their heart.

Other ideas:

❤️ Congratulate them for hitting a milestone or achieving a goal 

❤️ Thank them for cooking a tasty meal 

❤️ Leave an encouraging note when they have something going on

❤️ Remind them how capable they are when they doubt themselves

❤️ Compliment their outfit, hair, or something else about their appearance

❤️ Hide a card with a loving message in their suitcase when they’re going on a trip

❤️ Send them a card in the mail just because 

❤️ Send them a text just to say you were thinking of them

❤️ Set a goal to give your loved one a different complement each day for a month.

Insults can leave these people shattered and are not easily forgotten. Insults aren’t always spoken either, sometimes it is the things that aren’t said that hurt more. These people thrive on hearing kind and encouraging words that build them up. Words are powerful, they cost nothing. You can literally send these peoples’ spirits sky high with your words. Think about that. 

Those whose love language is Words of Affirmation may appreciate these Young Living ideas/gifts:

❤️ Spritz notecards with uplifting essential oils and send/give to them

❤️ Gift a roller of Believe essential oil with a note telling them how much/why you believe in them

❤️ Gift a bottle of Joy essential oil blend with a lovely card telling them all the ways in which they make you happy

❤️ Create a custom roller to fit the compliment you would like to pay the person and attach note explaining your creation

If Words of Affirmation is not one your love languages, it might be hard to do these things. However, you must put yourself aside and remember WHY you are doing this... because you love and care about the person, you want to let them know you value them, that they’re important, that you see them. It will make a big difference. Speak life into these people. 

When your loved one lights up from unsolicited compliments, hearing encouraging and kind words, prostrations of love or the reasons behind that love, but you find it challenging to share your feelings, consider supporting the thyroid to help you clearly communicate. The thyroid gland, located below the Adam’s apple on the neck, coordinates the metabolism (growth and rate of function) of almost every cell in the body. It controls how quickly the body uses energy, makes proteins, and controls the body’s sensitivity to other hormones.

The thyroid relates emotionally to self-expression and the struggle to communicate. This includes speaking up for ourselves as well as not suppressing our truth, failing to ask for what we want and or feeling we do not have the right to ask for what we want. Suppressed communication can give rise to feelings of humiliation, never getting to do what one wants to do, or thoughts and emotions related to one’s turn in life. An inability to speak one’s truth – including difficulty in self-expression, feeling suppressed or shut down in creative endeavors or “swallowing” or “stifling” your words to keep the peace or win people’s approval — will often cause physical problems in the thyroid, mouth, and neck area around the throat. Our Endoflex blend is wonderful at supporting the thyroid as well as Clove, Myrtle, Myrrh, Northern Lights Black Spruce, and Ledum.

The flip side of this love language are that insults can be devastating and are not easily forgotten.  To help prevent those angry outbursts, consider liver support (where our body stores this emotion) to help gently release anger. You may also consider integrating encouraging and kind words into your daily conversation. Our Release blend is helpful in gently releasing anger and memory trauma from the liver in order to create emotional well-being. It helps open the subconscious mind through pineal stimulation to release deep-seated trauma. Other oils that help release anger and or dispel it include Surrender, Bergamot, Transformation, Valor, Ylang Ylang, Tranquil, and Peace & Calming.

Some Young Living suggestions to help you support those whose love language is Words of Affirmation include:

❤️ Oils: Endoflex, Clove, Myrtle, Myrrh, Northern Lights Black Spruce, Ledum, Release, Surrender, Bergamot, Transformation, Valor, Ylang Ylang, Tranquil, Peace & Calming

❤️ Supplements: Thyromin, JuvaTone, EndoGize

What is your primary Love Language?

What is the primary love language of those closest to you - spouse, children, best friend?

• Acts of Service

• Physical Touch

• Quality Time

• Receiving Gifts

• Words of Affirmation

Did you gain some insight in how to get your love tank filled and/or how to fill the love tank of those you care for most?