Change Takes Courage
Facing Your Fears
Don’t be afraid of what you can’t see. Fear really can be summed up in this simple form. Why be afraid? Especially when it comes to things we can’t see. We touched on this loosely in Committing to Growth. Here we will dig a little deeper, and try to give ol’ Fear the heave ho.
What is Fear? Try looking at FEAR as Focusing Everything Around Resistance. Generally ,we are so in tune with our fear that we immobilize ourselves, or freeze, quite literally hindering ourselves from moving forward. Now, completely vilifying fear is not the answer. I mean not all fear is bad. Seriously, seeing an angry animal, maybe an elephant charging you... that fear will kick you in the booty to high tail it out of there.
Fear is not a bad thing when it sparks a good run from an angry elephant, just saying. Not all fear is bad; it can keep you alert and hungry.
We all have deep rooted fears. Fears tend to hide within the shadows of our subconscious, poking their heads up with impeccable timing, just like the Great White shark in Jaws, just to hold you back. Intentionally bringing these fears out and really understanding them is key to breaking them down. Many times your fears are attached to little moments in your past, even though you may not realize it. That little moment triggered a small fear response when we were young, which in turn spun itself into this elaborate web throughout our thoughts, and anytime your life veers close to that trigger, fear rears its ugly head.
Think about that time when you were in seventh grade, and you had your first real crush. The butterflies fluttered around your stomach with the intensity of a tornado churning across the flat lands. Anxiety was stirring and getting the best of you, but you still had to pass him or her that note confessing your love. Remember when the note was passed, and the response was met with a chuckle or a write-off. It hurt! You cried a little, thanked the lord for ice cream (awful coping mechanism by the way), but you picked yourself up and moved on. Or did you?
Externally you moved on, but internally that little moment stamped in your memory banks a little fear of rejection. Fast forward a few years when you found these amazing oils. You heard about the benefits of the business, and you want to share it with the world. Except you have this little fear of rejection just hanging out. This darn sucker just wants to come out and play. As a result, you limit your sharing and with whom you are sharing for fear of being written off or laughed at.
“Darn you seventh grade crush!! All you had to do was love me back, and I would be a Royal Crown Diamond already!!”
Now that you know where that fear of rejection came from, you can give it the boot. It has been fun (NOT), but it no longer serves you. If you can find the root of the original fear, releasing it may make it a little simpler (though it is not impossible without knowing the root cause).
How do you find that root cause and release it? You start by taking charge of your thoughts, and really looking at them. Are you being self-deprecating, or are you being your own cheerleader? This is a great way to break down your fears. Our heads are filled with so much internal chatter that it can be a challenge to wade through the madness.
Maintain Positive Focus! Keep up with positive affirmations, each and every day. The more you ingrain into yourself that you ARE a strong brand partner, you ARE an amazing leader, you ARE full of knowledge and the more you make it an automatic response to adversity, the greater your defense to fear will be. Fear cannot overpower positive will. Read uplifting books - check out the “The Untethered Soul” by Michael A. Singer; this is an amazing read. It can really allow you to manage, listen, and release the voice inside.
Meditation is a great way to start finding internal reflection. Turnoff your mind for 5 or 10 minutes and watch your thoughts pass by. Know that there is no right way to meditate. Simply focusing on your breath and watching your thoughts pass by without engaging them is the essence, allowing yourself a moment to turn off the noise. YouTube has an abundance of guided meditations, or there is an app called Headspace that has a free 10-day starter program to build a foundation. Once that is up, they do charge a small monthly fee, which is worth it to ensure your daily sanity.
Try one thing daily that scares you! This is just like committing to changing something daily from Committing to Growth, just with a little fear involved. If you are not actively trying to change your current thought patterns, you will be relegated to repeating the outcome. It can be something small but break that typical safety pattern. When you break these patterns and step out of your comfort zone, you open up new areas for yourself to live freely. You are essentially rewiring your brain away from your fears. If speaking in public scares you, check out Toastmasters - a great community for teaching public speaking. If posting oils on Facebook scares you, go make your first post after this lesson. Once you complete it, I bet you will find that it felt pretty darn good!
All of these little methods are good ways to really look at our fears, either release them or rise above them. There are many other methods, but most importantly commit to facing them and rising above them.
Fear does not wait. Fear does not sleep. Fear has no agenda. Fear will gladly keep you in the same circle of safety, locked behind impenetrable walls.
Overcoming Your Fears
"We all know what to do. None of us know how to make ourselves do it." - Mel Robbins
Please take 22 minutes to watch this. It will change your life.
Mel Robbins talks about overcoming fear:
Change takes courage, even the smallest changes. Change is uncomfortable. The push moment is the moment your values and goals align, but your fears, your feelings scream, "NO!" Use the 5 Second Rule in these push moments. The reason it's so freeing to use the rule is that not only do you seize the moment, but in beating your fears you are taking ownership of your life. You change the no to yes. That is empowering. That builds courage one five second moment at a time! You change your life one five second moment at a time.
Wake-up, make a plan, start moving really, really fast - there is an Elephant chasing you. Its name is fear, and it can only get you if you do not react. So throw your hair back, smile, and know “I got this!”
5-4-3-2-1-GO!
Because true happiness awaits!
Reflect and Process What You Learned:
Why is it so important for each of us to check in periodically to take stock of what may be holding us back?
Which fear (or two) will you be standing up to today and in the days to come?!
What strategies will you use to help you face this fear(s)?
Who will benefit from you stepping out and standing up to your fear?